


Loose Ends, or What Jeffrey Did Next

by spooky_fox



Series: Loose Ends [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen, Post-Episode: s11e01 My Struggle III, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:39:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooky_fox/pseuds/spooky_fox
Summary: After leaving Scully in the hospital, Spender has a choice to make.My Struggle III left me with some big questions regarding Spender's narrative and since I don't think we're gong to get any answers from the show, I'm going to try and fill in some of the blanks myselfThis is for builtreputation.tumblr.com because they asked





	Loose Ends, or What Jeffrey Did Next

Spender left the hospital. Through the basement parking lot and along a side street to the main road. Walking briskly but not running. He felt hostile eyes on him. Was that man following him? He ducked through a gap in the traffic across the street. No, that was just an office worker out to lunch. He cut down an alley and along a service lane. In the windows of the buildings he imagined snipers watching him. Behind dumpsters, men with garrottes waiting in ambush. At least in a crowd he would be a harder mark. He turned up a cross street and back into the crowds on the main road.

He had no fixed idea where he was going but a restless agitation forced Spender to put distance between himself and the hospital. Eventually though, the pain in his leg and shoulder made him stop so he went into a cafe, ordered a black coffee, and sat in a booth staring at it. He suddenly felt very old. At 49, Spender was hardly over the hill but right then he felt 100 years old. His hands stung where he had skinned them breaking his fall and his left side throbbed from the collision with the car's windshield. No doubt he'd have some massive bruises. His neck was stiff. Probably whiplash. Still, he would live. If he'd gone under the tyres he'd be in a much worse state.

He couldn't go home. That much was clear. They might be waiting for him again. If they knew where he lived did they also know where he worked? It was only a casual job washing dishes but he liked it well enough and the basic income it provided was useful. It would be a shame to leave it. And his flat. After all these years he'd finally begun to think of it as home rather than another temporary refuge and now he would have to uproot himself again. Could he risk going back to grab a few things? He hadn't set out prepared to go on the run.

On the run. And yet, no matter how far or fast he ran, he ended up back where he started, facing the same demons he always had. No physical distance or number of years would ever be great enough. At the end, there they would be again, loping up out of the past to tear him apart. Exhaustion threatened to engulf Spender. He felt he was cursed to run and run and never get anywhere until his strength gave out and he collapsed. He was so tired.

Somewhere deep down inside former agent Jeffrey Spender there is something as pure and adamant as diamond. When every emotional, physical, and intellectual resource has failed, when he has twisted and turned and still cannot get free, when his strength and willpower are failing, there it is. Absolute Rock Bottom, the last resort. Spender felt that wall now and he knew that he would not run this time. There was nowhere he could run to where he would not be found so he would stay where he was. Let them come for him if they would, he would be ready. And if they killed him, well perhaps then, at least, he would have some rest.

Spender picked up his cup of stone cold coffee and drained it in one gulp before heading back out into the street. The cold wind in his face made him feel alive. With renewed energy he slipped into the crowd and then he was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> That's all for now but this isn't the end for Spender just yet.


End file.
